Do you ever feel like you’re doing about 5 steps backwards in life and everybody else seems to be doing a good 10, long, eff off lunges forward?
It’s so incredibly easy for people to judge- not even knowing they are necessarily judging- where/what/who? you are in your life.
There are always the basic areas like, what job you have? Can you drive- if so what car you drive? And then it gets to the deeper elements of- have you got a house? Are you saving? Are you in serious relationship? Are you wanting a family? Are you in a job that full-fills that degree you’ve spent years doing? NO. For goodness sake what is this ludicrous pressure. This enormous weight that people in their teens, 20’s, 30’s whatever age, carry on their shoulders and leads to so much extra stress, anxiety and depression. As a good friend always says to me ‘you do you’.
For me, I may be wrong, but you cannot simply rush life. Happiness isn’t about finding your favourite shoes in the sale, and breaking all your bloody toes to fit into them because they’re simply 2 sizes too small (think Jen from the IT crowd).
It’s about waiting and maybe even more waiting, it’s about patience, persistence and something else being with p that sounds fitting.
Like, for example, I had a cracking job that I loved, it was a bit arty farty, not too stressful and it suited me. However through the months of working there, unfortunately there was a pretty nasty guy. Anyway without going into too much detail, it got to the point where I had to leave because I was being badly bullied. Again going back to that shoe fitting nonsense I was rabbiting on about… it didn’t fit, it looked good, but didn’t feel good one bit. You can’t surround yourself with toxic people and environments and expect a happy outcome.
I follow so many delightful people on social media that rightly and beautifully share their achievements, life changes and everything in between. It’s very easy to compare your life to theirs. I definitely do it. I’m like ‘oh my god Candice is getting married with Steve and she’s got this amazing house with this dog and baby on the way *breath* AND I swear she’s only just got that promotion at Art R Us’. And without sounding ridiculously bitter because I love seeing things like this- just bring yourself back to reality and remember people show you what they want you to see. Bloody hell I do it, I’m not going to post a picture of me from the other night having a full on melt down, fat bit of macaroni cheese dangling from my mouth, watching FleaBag am I?
What I’m trying to say is everybody has ‘life’
L – life
I – ife
F – fe
E- ELLO THERE MATE
no I’m kidding (just throwing in some friends in there)
Or as the Cambridge Dictionary very bluntly puts it :
It gets us all. The good, bad and the ugly of life. Candice could be struggling with servilely bad mental health problems. She could have just had angry customers aggressively throwing freshly sharpened pencils at her. She could have just had to pick up a ginormous shit the dog had treated her to in the hall way. You just never really know what’s going on in a persons life, is what I’m getting at.
I follow this one girl, and my god she is just fabulous. Her fashion, attitude, figure, hair, life style, I think I actually have a bit of a crush on her. But it’s got the point now where rather me following her for inspiration and ideas, every time I see her posts I compare her to myself. This mind set definitely needs to stop. It’s not logical and it’s certainly not healthy. You be you. You are your own person, warts and all. Bloody embrace it. Because I BET there are people who see you and feel inspired without you even knowing it.
When writing this blog, which has taken me bloody ages guys because I feel sooooo shitty in myself and it’s hard to find ANY motivation at all to move let alone chat away to myself, I started reading Fearne Cottons ‘Happy’ book. Ok, seriously it’s a must purchase. One chapter is called ‘The good, the bad and the ugly of social media’ and it is pretty much, (alot better than this) but it’s a similar concept.
Thanks for reading my little super stars. You’re all quite literally fabulous and don’t forget it. That’s it for me for now, catch you next week. Al xxx